Sunday, September 13, 2009 10:21 AM
You gave me one good reason. To fight and never walk away.
So here I am, still holding on.Sometimes I think that friendships are more important than relationships. Be it school friends, who are mostly my close friends, besties and homies, they're often the ones who make my day and colour my life. Especially Sarah, Jan, Sam, Tian Tian, Chew and Seng. I never regret going to attend school everyday just because of them. And of course with Jiong, who never fails to make me smile simply with just a message from her. And Hua, who's always so ever willing to put up with my horny conversations and rubbish. As 18 approaches, I feel a new beginning with an unspoken and indescribable fear. First it's my covenant that's ending. Secondly, a new environment with new people. I'm not so afraid with the new environment, what I'm more afraid is my covenant.
I'm afraid that I'll get too impatient and I'll get the wrong guy.
I'm afraid that my friends will get the priority, instead of him.
I'm afraid that I'm not able to commit wholeheartedly into the relationship.
I'm afraid that I will neglect my friends if he becomes the center of my focus.
I'm just afraid... but I'll get through. :)
Saturday, September 12, 2009 5:47 AM
This is love. To give more than he deserves.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 3:22 AM
Now I feel safer. I was so afraid to lose you, just that I didn't tell you.
Friday, September 4, 2009 5:26 AM
I've gotten back my prelims results today and it was totally unexpected...in a good way. I've improved from L1R4 40++ points to 36, L1R4 27. Thank God! I thought I'd done worse but by the amazing grace of God, I've gotten better results. Now I'm rather relaxed cause' D&T is already at the back of my mind, except for theory. Need not worry so much for English but have to continue to practice and practice more for poa and of course study for humans. The "O" level ambience is already here, I can totally feel it and intensive starts tomorrow. Many people are telling me not to got for tutor but I'll still go for tutor's because I can learn much more from her than in school. That's it for school.
Life's been good. Just that I always feel vacant inside me. Maybe it's because I haven't been to church for a long, long time that the spiritual side of me has gone as well. It sucks to feel this way because I'll tend to think alot if I feel vacant. And that's good and bad at the same time.
Was it a mistake to tell you my genuine thoughts? I feel that we've distant since that incident and I really wanna talk things out. I don't know if you still treasure this friendship as much as before and I don't know what I'm going through. It's just turmoils over and over again each day I wake up. You're the first person I think of at the beginning of the day and the last when I sleep. That's why I never ever wanted to tell someone my true feelings because I'm afraid this will happen and it'll be one- sided. And I guess it is so for us. Thursday, August 27, 2009 8:28 AM
If this is what I have to go through to be your love, I really don't know if this is more than I can take.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009 10:54 AM
I'm having second thoughts of posting my true- felt thoughts here. Maybe I shouldn't cause' it's rather personal. I just wanna say, you no longer deserve my respect. Not at all. I tried to smile at you the other day and I felt so fake.
I'M DONE WITH MY PRESENTATION BOARD! I'm handing in 3 boards and I'm really proud of it. Of course not forgetting the teachers' help. Honestly speaking, they really helped me
alot. If I don't get an A1,
SEAB you watch out!! Friday is the dateline and I'm feeling nervous. I think it's because I still have doubts about my journal and stuff. But it'll all be over by this week. *smilezzz*
Today I saw ______ walking away. And I really felt indebted to ______. Really a nice person. Lord please bless her.
Thursday, August 20, 2009 8:19 AM
DnT is more than halfway there, just got to complete drawings and gnatt chart and i
hate doing gnatt chart. But with Chia by my side, i'm more than happy. I seriously love working with him cause he always makes me laugh. Okay la, I laugh practically at everything but he's just hilarious. That's why I simply love DnT lessons. And I really pray for an A1 cuz I really don't want to get just a B3, it's seriously wasted if I get that results. I think I'll just complete my Gnatt chart tomorrow la. I'm feeling super tired now.
School was *boo* cause Maths was screwed up but lunch was
the bomb! Sarah and I practically laughed at every random things and people and it was seriously fun.
We are simply just kids when we're together and i love that. Went back for dnt after lunch and did orthorgraphic drawings. And am feeling TIRED. gonna sleep. Night you!
